Policies


Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 21 seconds

So, every web site has to have policies. Disqus wants you to have a comment policy. Everyone wants you to have a privacy policy. Basically, it's all because of lawyers. Lawyers are the modern ruiners of civilization. They suck the life out of everything. So I have policies to make them happy, in exchange for piece of my soul. And here the policies are...

Comment Policy

TL;DR: Basically, if you make a comment in the comments section, or email me with a comment about anything on the site, I reserve the right to write an entire article that makes fun of you, and invites other people to point at you and laugh.

Any messages transmitted to the administrator(s) or the author(s) of the Dale Franks web site, whether transmitted electronically or by any other means, may be reprinted at our discretion, and used for purposes of commentary, debate, satire, or humor. Transmission of such messages constitutes implied consent to publicly reprint such messages.

Privacy Policy

TL;DR: I don't collect any information about you, because I really don't give a shit who you are. Since I don't do that, I have no information about you to sell to advertisiers. Though, I kinda wish I did, 'cause I hear there's good money in that. Still, if the cops serve a warrant on me, I'll give them anything I have, 'cause I ain't going jail for contempt of court. If you have trouble with the cops, that's on you. Also, if you steal any of my shit, I'll tell anyone anything I have to, to track you down and sue your ass for copyright violation.

The Dale Franks Web Site does not collect any personally identifiable information, such as your e-mail address, name, home or work address or telephone number, except such information as you volutarily provide through filling out forms.

The Dale Franks Web Site does not collect sensitive data, such as your race, religion, or political affiliations.

The Dale Franks Web Site encourages you to review the privacy statements of Web sites you choose to visit so that you can understand how those Web sites collect, use and share your information. The Dale Franks Web Site is not responsible for the privacy statements or other content on Web sites outside of this site.

There is also information about your computer hardware and software that is automatically collected by The Dale Franks Web Site. This information can include: your IP address, browser type, domain names, access times and referring Web site addresses. This information is used by The Dale Franks Web Site for the operation of the service, to maintain quality of the service, and to provide general statistics regarding use of the The Dale Franks Web Sites.

The Dale Franks Web Site does not sell, rent or lease its user lists to third parties. The Dale Franks Web Site will not contact you on behalf of external business partners.

The Dale Franks Web Site will disclose your personal information, without notice, only if required to do so by law or in the good faith belief that such action is necessary to: (a) conform to the edicts of the law or comply with legal process served on The Dale Franks Web Site; (b) protect and defend the rights or property of The Dale Franks Web Site; and, (c) act under exigent circumstances to protect the personal safety of users of the The Dale Franks Web Site, or the public.

Use of Cookies

TL;DR: It's 2017. Every web site collects cookies. Calm down with the paranoia, there, Alex Jones.

Some of the The Dale Franks Web Site pages may use “cookies” to help you personalize your online experience. A cookie is a text file that is placed on your hard disk by a Web page server. Cookies cannot be used to run programs or deliver viruses to your computer. Cookies are uniquely assigned to you, and can only be read by a web server in the domain that issued the cookie to you.

One of the primary purposes of cookies is to provide a convenience feature to save you time. The purpose of a cookie is to tell the Web server that you have returned to a specific page. For example, if you personalize The Dale Franks Web Site’s pages, or register with the The Dale Franks Web Site, a cookie helps The Dale Franks Web Site to recall your specific information on subsequent visits. This simplifies the process of recording your personal information, such as billing addresses, shipping addresses, and so on. When you return to the same The Dale Franks Web Site Web site, the information you previously provided can be retrieved, so you can easily use the The Dale Franks Web Site features that you choose.

You have the ability to accept or decline cookies. Most Web browsers automatically accept cookies, but you can usually modify your browser setting to decline cookies if you prefer. If you choose to decline cookies, you may not be able to fully experience the interactive features of this Web site.

...aaaaand, we're done.

Now that you know what what our implicit deal is, I'll do me, and you do you.