Dale Franks

I write stuff. A lot of it is about cars and motorcycles.

Making Johnny Polar Bear Happy

2013 Ford Fusion SE Hybrid Review

There are a lot of reasons why you might want to use less gasoline. Maybe you think all the ice is melting and Johnny Polar Bear will lose his home. Maybe you’re tired of buying gas from Johnny Foreigner. Maybe you just want some extra cash for coke and hookers. On the other hand, you don’t want a Prius, partly because you don’t need to display a smug sense of moral superiority, but mainly because a the Prius is a horribly dull car.

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Comfy Spice

2013 Range Rover Evoque Coupe Review

The full-sized Range Rover is probably, as Jeremy Clarkson would say, the best SUV…in the world. But it’s a big vehicle, with a huge V-8 engine. Luxurious and off-road capable, sure, but big and fuel hungry. But let’s say you want a smaller but still off-road capable SUV and you don’t want to give up luxury and drive around in a shabby Subaru or Nissan? Or even worse, a Land Rover LR2, with its sad, horrible, under-powered V-6. The answer, according to Range Rover, is the Evoque.

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Ducati Announces the 899 Panigale for 2014

New bike. New Engine.

Ducati announced their new 899 Panigale to me by sending me a cryptic email with a picture of the bike and no information, except a link to their web site’s Panigale section. That turned out out to be a tediously-navigated, JavaScript-heavy web site where there was information. Sadly, they dribble it out one sentence at a time as you navigate from frame to frame. Yes, JavaScript is the future, but there’s no need to get carried away. Anyway, rather than make you navigate through their beautiful, picture-heavy, yet drearily tedious web site, I’ll just pass the information to you.

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Good Enough

2013 Volvo S60 T6 R-Design Review

Safety. Reliability. Swedish stolidity. That’s what you think of when you think of Volvo. For the most part, that’s what the Swedish automaker wants you to think. The Swedes have a philosophy that permeates their society, called lagom. It describes a state of being just good enough to evoke a sense of comfortable satisfaction. Not too good, so as to be extravagant or showy, and not too bad, as to be obviously flawed or defective.

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Resurrection, Again

Let’s try this one more time

Blogging is hard. I don’t mean it’s hard physically, but it’s hard in terms of finding the time to do it. This especially true when you write at other places besides your personal web site. I write on politics and economics elsewhere, and I didn’t want this to become a political site. Plus, I got an invite to write at Medium, so I sort of did all of my personal writing there, and created my own collection of automotive and motorcycle writing there. (Most of which, By the way, I’ll be transferring over here, bit by bit.)

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What God Drives on the Weekend

2014 Jaguar F-Type S Review

It’s been 50 years since Jaguar has produced a proper, purpose-built sports car, in the form of the classic E-Type, one of the most beautiful cars ever made. It was, perhaps, the most beautiful thing ever made. Since then, Jaguar has been more about luxury than sport. Sure, Jaguar makes fast luxury cars, and there was the XK, of course, which was amusing, and in the R-spec version, very fast. But it didn’t quite press all the right sports-car buttons, especially in convertible form. The convertible was basically an XK coupe with the top sawzalled off, which meant loss of torsional rigidity and scuttle shake. Since the E-Type, Jags have always been fast, fun, and luxurious, but not truly sporting machines.

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Welcome to the future

Everything you know about software development is wrong

I’ve spent the last 20 years developing software, managing software development, and doing software systems analysis full-time. I’ve been programming since I was 16. The first time I went to college, my major was computer science. Since then, I’ve seen one major revolution in the computer industry, which essentially blew up everything that came before it.

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Less Beige

2013 Lexus GS 350 F-Sport Review

Here’s the thing: whether you buy a Toyota, a Scion, or a Lexus, almost all the cars made by the Toyota Motor Corporation are beige. Bland. Which is sad, because Toyota used to make some cars that tended decidedly towards the red end of the color spectrum. There was the Toyota Celica GTS, the nearly-supercar-fun Supra, and even the entertaining, mid-engined, two-seater MR2. Toyota used to make fun cars, then they just…stopped.

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