Dale Franks

I write stuff. A lot of it is about cars and motorcycles.

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Reforming English

Dreaming an Impossible Dream

One of my personal little personality quirks is a deep sense of privacy. I mean, I’m civil enough, I suppose, but deep down, I don’t really trust people very much, and I don’t want them to know much about what I’m thinking or doing. For instance, because I have to attend meetings and take lots of notes, I don’t want people to see what I’m writing. But, I also don’t want to be the wierdo who’s obviously guarding his notes from the prying eyes of the other meeting attendees.

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Italy’s Re-Entry Vehicle

2013 Fiat 500 Abarth Review

Italian cars have a bit of a reputation, and it’s both good and bad. The good part of their reputation is that they’re usually pretty, and fun to drive. There’s something that the Italians and their automotive engineers just get about the act of driving, and about how a car should look. The bad part of their reputation is that they don’t get everything else about cars, like, say, reliability. The bad part of that reputation has lingered in the US, because Fiat and Lancia bid goodbye to these shores in the early 1980s after a series of disastrously unreliable cars, followed by Alfa Romeo in the early 1990s.

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A cylinder for each wheel

Can-Am gives the 2014 Spyder a triple

I have a soft spot for the Can-Am Spyder. Back when the original Spyder was announced, I was able to get a ride on one—even before they were publically available—after years of not having ridden a motorcycle. I didn’t even have a motorcycle license then, but, fortunately, California doesn’t require one to ride trikes. After my ride, I was so pleased with the experience, I got my motorcycle license back, and bought a motorcycle—though not a Spyder. But it was the vehicle that got me back into motorcycling, so I’ve always loved it.

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Sweet Torture

2013 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution MR Review

The Subaru WRX STI has only one real competitor as a rally-bred street car: The Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution, called the Evo, for short. The Evo is the one bright spot in Mitsubishi’s otherwise sad line-up of mediocre-performing, front-wheel drive, budget cars. The thing is, the STI and Evo people each love their vehicles desperately, and they hate the owners of the opposing vehicles with a passion that burns with the heat of a thousand suns. Much insult and ridicule is exchanged between the two groups.

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Making Johnny Polar Bear Happy

2013 Ford Fusion SE Hybrid Review

There are a lot of reasons why you might want to use less gasoline. Maybe you think all the ice is melting and Johnny Polar Bear will lose his home. Maybe you’re tired of buying gas from Johnny Foreigner. Maybe you just want some extra cash for coke and hookers. On the other hand, you don’t want a Prius, partly because you don’t need to display a smug sense of moral superiority, but mainly because a the Prius is a horribly dull car.

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Comfy Spice

2013 Range Rover Evoque Coupe Review

The full-sized Range Rover is probably, as Jeremy Clarkson would say, the best SUV…in the world. But it’s a big vehicle, with a huge V-8 engine. Luxurious and off-road capable, sure, but big and fuel hungry. But let’s say you want a smaller but still off-road capable SUV and you don’t want to give up luxury and drive around in a shabby Subaru or Nissan? Or even worse, a Land Rover LR2, with its sad, horrible, under-powered V-6. The answer, according to Range Rover, is the Evoque.

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Ducati Announces the 899 Panigale for 2014

New bike. New Engine.

Ducati announced their new 899 Panigale to me by sending me a cryptic email with a picture of the bike and no information, except a link to their web site’s Panigale section. That turned out out to be a tediously-navigated, JavaScript-heavy web site where there was information. Sadly, they dribble it out one sentence at a time as you navigate from frame to frame. Yes, JavaScript is the future, but there’s no need to get carried away. Anyway, rather than make you navigate through their beautiful, picture-heavy, yet drearily tedious web site, I’ll just pass the information to you.

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